Thursday, December 04, 2003 :::
this is my last blogger post for this blog. i'll still have my poetry page w/ blogger, but as far as my main blog, i've switched to lj... click link below
Tuesday, December 02, 2003 ::: mamas and the papas monday, monday
can't trust that day
monday, monday
sometimes it just turns out that way
oh, monday morning u gave me no warning
of what was to be
oh, monday, monday
how could u leave & not take me
every other day
[every other day] every other day
every other day of the week is fine (fine), yeah
but whenever monday comes
[but whenever monday comes] but whenever monday comes
u can find me crying all of the time...
Monday, December 01, 2003 ::: so much [music of the moment: john lennon imagine]
i could talk forever, but i'll try to not do that...
friday, killed time. met amy's friend jeremy. didn't see a movie. sat, went to the mall. met jeremy's b/f [w/ blood cancer]. went to dad's. got to talk to brett. got food w/ jeni. terrorized villagers. found out that raleigh is the reason i don't have stars in fairfax. realized that some ppl i'll love forever, just because. [knock, knock. who's there? i love u!]... [so many words...and all just to say "i love u"]!!! sun, went to lunch w/ jen & jo. ran into mrs. roulaine. saw ethan fary's older brother [wicked creepy cuz i don't think he recognized me]. [ate @ panera...yes there's a panera in vabeach now!] chilled w/ bri for a min. saw dad. left. talked on the phone for a long while. got home. done.
for some odd reason, i thought this was going to be longer...
i must be leaving something out...please refres my memory...
Thursday, November 27, 2003 ::: thanxgiving rating: overall "ehn"
food was good. took a nap. nap was good. went to wal-mart like WAY too many times in 1 day. a little drama around that 1. davis wouldn't speak to dad [not to mention it sucked not having him there & he's all in pain and whatnot cuz of his ankle/foot being broken].
i realize w/ all that's happened thru the past year or so, i really do have a lot to be thankful for. i have great friends...i can't even begin to put into words what needs to be said...jk lg ss ah mw hs sp bv dd lm...so many more...i realize sometimes i'm an ass, and i've gotten accustomed to being labeled that role. but i know i shouldn't be like that most of the time, and i'm working on it [i really am]. i just wanna thank every1 for putting up w/ me & keeping me in check!
so...i was eating dinner in the dining room w/ mom's sisters and grandmamma...and grandmamma asked me if i had a girlfriend. [i just knew this was going to happen].
and i said, "no"
"well, are ya lookin for 1?"
"no"
"aren't u interrested?"
"not really"
"not even a little?"
"nope"
"well, are what r u interrested in? u'r not interrested in boys, are ya?"
and i looked at her... she said, "r u telling me something?"
*shrug* "u asked"
"lee, r u telling me something?"
"well, i wouldn't have told u, but u brought it up"
...so she proceeded to tell me that i was crazy and had no way to be sure and that i needed to see a therapist just to be sure and that maybe a therapist could "cure me" etc...
"does your mamma know?"
"yes"
"well, are u proud?"
"what's not to be proud of? i didn't ask for this. it's what i got. believe me, i wouldn't have chosen this path, had i been given that choice. it's not an easy thing"
so the conversation was over. i didn't want to talk about it, she was obviously having problems meeting an out person.
but then about 20 mins later, so called me back in her room and told me she loved me and that she was proud of me...
kinda confusing, i know, but that made it a little better.
so, i have 2 thoughts from all of this:
1) y would i have ever stopped being loved?
and 2) my aunt ann says that we all choose our own life paths...so, then y did i choose this life? y not another?
Wednesday, November 26, 2003 ::: review the last few got a tattoo
met lindsy's lil sister
dinner w/ hannah and molly
yeah yeah yeah & frozen ass
came to wilson
dad broke his heel/foot
davis is huge
doing laundry
i think that's all...
